Mood: pondering
Song stuck in head: Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick
Image. Is it something you come up with, something that others perceive of you, or is it merely a mirage of your delusional self? Why do people keep changing what they look like? To satisfy themselves? To satisfy others? Since when do you turn into something you're not and thus succumb to the pressure of others? Others who don't even know the real you. Others who have no idea what it means to be real. God made us all to be different. By attempting to follow the river of so-called "trends" aren't you condoning yourself to the perception of others? Maybe this is a really pointless post and a really pathetic attempt at being "deep" and "opiniated" but seriously I don't care. Isn't blogging also putting up an image behind the words? Am I being hypocritical here? So many questions. Each and every one of them making no sense. But again, I don't care. I'm not going to write simpler, monotonous posts in order to attract more readers. I'm not going to make my blog all emo-oriented in association will all those sadistic posts which scream "I can't take it any more" or countless "I so hate my parents right now". Do people even realise that when they change, it might be because of others? Because of pressure?
Well, whatever. Maybe this entry here should be stashed away in a corner along with other worthless trashy mindless rants which make no sense whatsoever. You know like those that go "OmG! I JuSt LiKe FrEaKiNg WeNt ShOpPiNg ToDay!!!!!!!" (phew, man that was hard. How do some people keep doing it?) Or those that scream such hate and hostility it ranks waaaaay up there for 'Most Unapprochable Blog No Matter How Gorgeous The Layout Is'. I don't care. I write what I want. (Am I turning into another Maddox here?) FYI, he's a really sadistic asshole who absolutely has so much free time he writes trash on his website. He's a HANSON-hater and I hate HANSON-haters. Can't find the URl right now, but I bet you guys will be disgusted too.
*scribbled 9:34 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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Mood: tired
Song stuck in head today: I Know I Know I Know by Tegan and SaraDaphna's gone! I was rooting for her on
'Rockstar: INXS' and now she's gone. Damn and I didn't watch the performance episode last night. However, I thought her performance of the INXS song totally rocked the house! But I guess "it's what the band feels" that matters, right? I guess punk songs DO deserve to be murdered. Because of that stupid punk song she got the boot. Now who am I supposed to root for??!! Hmmm...
GO MiG and Jordis!!!
*scribbled 10:09 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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Mood: Happy yet sad at the same time
Song stuck in head today: The One by ShakiraEdit: Yay! I got some pics from Noorie. Thanks loads hun!
Dang! In that last one I was looking at the other camera. See what happens when the people taking the photos don't co-ordinate picture-taking timings?
End edit.OMG! Haven't blogged in absolutely ages!
Today was a day I have been looking forward to my whole life. Well, technically not my whole life but my whole life as a member of the TKGS Drama Club. Yes today, the 27th of July, was the Sec 4 Drama Club farewell. I spent the whole of last night trying to come up with a proper speech that will encompass whatever feelings I have for all the oppotunities I had received as a Drama-er. But nothing came into my head. I wasn't feeling anything. I just couldn't get into the right frame of mind. So I kind of went impromptu. I didn't even read out from the hasty "speech" I prepared during last lesson. Lol Miss Hamidah pointed out that Elia should be paying attention during Social Studies because she was writing her speech too. Haha Elia, you're so funny.
"Miss Hamidah, can I not pay attention today? I need to write something important."Elia darling, you know I love you ok. And your speech was absolutely beautiful.
Anyway I'm still basking in the euphoria and nostalgia of it all. The games did the farewell justice by starting it off just right. After a completely wet t-shirt, messy banana-stained hands and a tree seduction (we seduced the tree by the way, not the other way round. I was so insane I tell you:
"Oh tree, I'm entangled in you, in your leafy arms. What nonsense.) we were all geared up to change into our glamourous outfits. Everyone looked absolutely gorgeous. And yes, we even put makeup on Nad. Bodoh, I love you ok? And you said 'kirim hug' just now right? *gives Nad a hug* I love you I love you I love you.
The studio. One word? Breathtaking. It was absolutely beautiful. With the satin cloths and the posters. And the chocolate-banana smoothie rocked my freaking socks! Obviously the best part was the dancing. Dharshini is such a fab dancer. And Lubna? I'm falling in love over and over and over again with her. Pure hotness. I think we had to lower the temperature a notch to make it cooler just now.
Speeches! Every farewell, speeches = tears = tissues. And lots of it. Hugs = photos = more hugs = more tears = more tissues. Get the pic? But hey, who's complaining. Not me that's for sure. And however strong we may claim to be,
*coughsaajidacough* there were certainly lots of hugs and tears.
Sec 4s. You guys mean
THE WORLD to me. Drama club was nothing without you guys. I love each and every single one of you. And I know we will drift apart (life sucks like that) but I will never
EVER forget you guys ok? You guys have helped me become stronger and we've bonded amidst the rifts, backstabbing, diva notions etc. Hope the drama never stops.
*scribbled 9:18 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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Mood: tired and disappointed
Song stuck in head today: Maybe It's Just Me by Ingram HillSo I just got back from
Baybeats 2005. My feet ache. My eyes hurt. I can't feel my toes. And something made me ponder my current situation in life. Did I have a blast? Will I go again tomorrow? Hell, yeah.
P.S.:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIE!! Have a fantabulous 14th! *hugs* <33333
*scribbled 11:35 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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Mood: tired and frustrated
Song stuck in head today: Dans le collimateur by Emma DaumasTime check: 4.20 pm.
Hours awake: approximately 7 hours
Books touched: ZILCH
Does that give you any idea on how incredibly
stupid I can be. Yup, that's right. I did
ZERO studying today. Someone shoot me. Right. Now.
Or not. I'm too darn nice. Maybe you guys are hoping I'll snap out of this reverie I'm in where everything does not revolve around the fact that prelims are
in freaking 7 weeks!!! But I'm not counting. Are you? Or maybe you guys are seriously praying that we can all get through this without working our asses off. Don't count on it. I seriously need help. Any kind of help. Be it psychological therapy to get it into my head that I should quit messing around and should actually FOCUS. Or it could be a study buddy. I don't mind. Please? Anyone? This sucks.
You know I've already started thinking about what I want to do after O Levels. God, I've even started thinking what uni life would be like in UCT or NYU. But all these thoughts are completely fruitless because they can never happen if I don't study and get through my O Levels first. And what if I don't get into VJC? Would I want to settle for less?? Honestly, it doesn't even matter to me because I'm only going to be here for JC 1. But what if I'm not? What if I have to finish my A Levels because something unexpected comes up like dad saying
: 'Oh, you're just not ready to go live on your own overseas. Wait another year.' Yeah that can totally happen. Then would I really be happy getting my A Level certificate from a JC which I didn't really want to go to in the first place? Questions are mind-boggling. They boggle the mind. Especially questions that make you ponder over them.
Oh great, it's raining. Now I'm stuck at home! Just when I'm craving for
Old Chang Kee. Why do my cravings come at the oddest times? Is this something the universe and the powers-that-be have in store for me to test my patience?! Well...???
I need a new layout. Still HANSON, just a different one. Anyone want to do one for me? Why do I even bother. Everyone has better things to do then stay glued to the freaking computer.
*scribbled 4:17 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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Mood: hungry
Song stuck in head today: Au jour le jour by Emma DaumasO M G. Everywhere I see that people are studying, memorising stuff,
planning what to study next. Have I done any of that?
NO! WTF? I have 7 weeks to prelims and I'm not doing anything about it?? Who do I think I am that I don't need to study? Einstein??!! Come on! Get it together and
FUCKING FOCUS!! I am bored right now. I should be studying Social Studies but no... I'm procrastinating.
And why isn't there EVER anyone online when I'm online. Lostwithouteachother. I'm lost without you guys! Dang time zones! And like the next thing I know people have like 200 more posts than me. In one freaking day! And I miss out on the HL conversations. WTFH?? Angela got a kitten and I must be like the last one to know.
And what's this about Raul being in Singapore and I never got to meet him??!! What is the world coming to? But Raul is soooo old news compared to the London bomb blasts. Now
that is a situation worth asking
'What is the fucking world coming to??!' It's scary I tell you. It's not safe anymore. ANYWHERE. And I was on the forums just now and apparently some people think Denmark is next. Well,
WE could be next! This war will never end. It just won't. There will forever be people unhappy with each other. Emotions will run high. High enough to kill. My dad thinks it's British people killing their own people and then claiming Al Qaeda did it. People are insane nowadays. It's technology I tell you. Technology has driven us all to the very verge of insanity. Which means I must be insane too. Yes, Nuraini. Why the hell are you on the computer waiting for people to come online when you should be studying?? You're such a procrastinator. Can you just picture this conversation I'm having with myself? There! Huuuuuuuge proof of pure insanity.
Erwin I need to talk to you but I'm always afraid to dial your number because I never know if you're busy at that moment and if you are then you'll get all irritated and stuff. But I miss you ok. I miss you. God, don't listen to this insane freak. She's out of her mind.
Oh, and does anyone have a credit card I can use? I desperately
desperately want Emma Daumas' album
Le Saut de l'Ange but I can only get it Europe or from Amazon. Please? I'll pay you back. Promise. Honestly!! You don't believe me?? Fine..
Oh and there's this quiz that says I'm painstaking and fussy. I bet I drive half of you guys out there crazy. Right? But that's ok. You're not obliged to answer. I'll still love you anyway.
*scribbled 10:30 pm(:
Check out www.ingramhillmusic.com to find out more about this fantastic band!
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